3 infertile behaviors that sabotage the growth of your vision

The more I accept that bringing a vision to life is a journey, the more at ease I feel with a process that has many ups and downs. I look back one year ago, two years ago - and one word that comes to mind is "vibrating." I was vibrating with an underlying feeling tone that was actually sabotaging my clarity, creativity and overall effectiveness. I see this same intensity in so many women that I meet.

My desire is to create from the core of who I am - my essence, so I must become at ease with this journey.

As I shift away from the masculine blueprint into the feminine creative process, I feel so much more at ease.

There are three ways Visionaries sabotage their creative process.

These are  "infertile habits and behaviors" which undermine our ability to be effective over the long term.

When these habits become chronic they also produce adrenaline in the body, a hormone which is not helpful for women in the long term.

Adrenaline in the female body lowers our response to stress and makes us more prone to fatigue, illness and burnout - not to mention disconnecting us with our creative flow. Without going into this in depth, Ellie Drake is a great example of creating in a feminine way, and she teaches this in detail at her signature events which have been significant for my growth in the last two years.

Infertile behavior #1 ~ a pervasive feeling of IMPATIENCE.

Aren't we all a little impatient at times? I remember when I wanted to conceive my vision so badly. I wanted to be "there" and as a result, I also felt more disconnected from my creative flow during this Phase. It was really challenging for me to be OK with "not knowing".

I do still find myself feeling impatient here and there, but accepting that the journey involves stages and phases that cannot be skipped has allowed me to let go of this incessant nagging impatience.

Impatience is a LACK of TRUST.

We want things to go our way.

Rush the process, change the process, make it different, make it better.

Either way, impatience is a disregard for the truth of what is showing up - right now.

Accepting where you are is the highest form of trust you can have for yourself and the Universe that supports you.

Infertile Behavior #2 ~ Self imposed PRESSURE. 

This one can be deadly. Pressure makes us resist the warning signs of fatigue or illness in our body. Pressure keeps us on a never ending cycle of seeking fulfillment outside of ourselves. It's not a conscious behavior for the most part, but it stems from a feeling of NOT BEING ENOUGH and because of this deep belief, we don't allow ourselves to STOP.

I sat for an hour with a woman recently diagnosed with Cancer. In her own words, she shared how she has always been run by pressure in her life. She was always on-the-go, managing everyone, taking the lead and ignoring the warning signs to slow down, until this year, when her body forced her to slow down.

She was very clear that PRESSURE was a big part of why she received her diagnosis.

Are you hard on yourself? This is self imposed pressure.

Pressure can be a good thing as well. You are putting the finishing touches on your book, you are struck with a big download of creativity, you are communicating a big idea to your team, you are planning a mini escape with your partner....etc

All of these are good forms of pressure, but these are passing forms of positive pressure.

They stem from inspiration - not self rejection.

The problem is when pressure becomes the backdrop for your 24-7 Modus Operandi of how to get things done.

Infertile Behavior #3 ~ undermining the creative process with constant PUSHING.

There is RIGHT TIMING for all we create.

I learned this so powerfully when I gave birth to my son.

I was inspired to NOT PUSH  him down the canal or during crowning.  (a link for lovers of the juicy birth details)

So I went against the grain. Instead of the usual birthing tradition of PUSHING baby OUT - I slowed it down. Way down. No pushing or external force on my behalf AT ALL.

I know this can seem hard to believe that a baby will come out on their own, but he did. I surrendered to the flow of expansion and contraction in my body. {I go into depth on expansion and contraction in my guide "Gestating Your BIG Idea,", which you will  receive (ahem) when you subscribe} I learned the art of being totally present in the moment and he moved through on his own.  There was no one telling me to push, no clock, no popping the water, no personal agenda, no grunting, squeezing, bearing down, black eyes from the pressure pushing.

As a result, I felt no birthing fatigue, resistance or pain.

Imagine how 'not pushing to accomplish your goals' could actually give you more energy and flow with your creative projects and business?

There are times when we are so close to birthing our vision that we want to push it forward, but in doing this we go against the flow and create more struggle and pain than is necessary.

As you surrender to accepting "right timing" for all you create, your vision has the space to become what it is meant to be - and often, it exceeds our highest possibility.

All three infertile behaviors are subtle forms of SELF REJECTION.

The best remedy?


Last week I took a bath, splashed around, let the epsom salts do it's job for 20 minutes and then got out.

The bath was very . . . uninspiring.

Had I set the intention on self nurturing, I would have lit the candles, added the essential oils and put on some ambient chill music.

Self love goes a very very long way.

Have fun, play, create . . . LOVE.

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