on aloneness + being the fool
I've been wondering about you and what's been happening in your world?
I came across a beautiful poem posted on facebook by Lisa Schrader who is featured in The Little Book of Non-Negotiables.
This poem touches me . . . and I remember why I lay my heart on the line as often as I do. (I share more on that below)
Life will break you. Nobody can protect you from that, and living alone won't either, for solitude will also break you with its yearning.
You have to love. You have to feel. It is the reason you are here on earth. You are here to risk your heart. You are here to be swallowed up. And when it happens that you are broken, or betrayed, or left, or hurt, or death brushes near, let yourself sit by an apple tree and listen to the apples falling all around you in heaps, wasting their sweetness.
Tell yourself you tasted as many as you could..
When I reflect on the sweet sadness that has been rolling through myself and the women I adore, I realize that whether we come by it through love, creativity or the spiritual journey - everyone encounters the feeling of being totally alone.
Feeling alone is not necessarily because there is the absence of anything at all. Support, love, friendship and even a lover can all be present while witnessing the quiet thunder of Aloneness rolling through.
As we pour our heart and soul into our right work, our right relationships, our right livelihood – we lie down over and over, alone in the truth of who we are, right in center of the bull ring.
We share ourselves this way, so vulnerably, that at times we think we might die. And we do all this all because we believe in Love.
When you lay your heart on the line there are times when all you hear are crickets.
And you feel alone.
Your life can be totally aligned ~ and still there may be crickets.
You might wonder what the hell you are doing? What the point of all this is? Or if any of it even matters . .
and then there is that little voice that says, "Hey, are you trusting? You know you've got to trust right? I see that you got the wind taken outta your sails a bit here, so it's ok that your trust was shaken, but what do you want to do NOW?"
When all you hear is the quiet roar of your own breath and heart beating within you, let yourself be reminded that it's not about anyone else.
It's about returning to the river of joy. The space that feeds you. It's about trusting the ecstasy of being True to YOU.
So be the fool who loves again. Be the fool who shows up dancing in the rain, even while the crickets are chirping. Be the fool who leaves the past behind, and with amnesia from the last battle, strides right into the center of the ring again.
The innocent child is foolish. She dares to imagine what is possible, even when those around her do not see what she sees.
She has not learned to be the skeptic. She meets the purity and adventure within each new experience.
Let your foolish innocence be your guide.
This is your "rightness" in the world, even when all you hear is crickets.