That thing holding you back? It's not what you think it is.
What do you think stands between you and what you want to create in your life?
For more than two years I was intensely passionate about a vision. I filled notebooks with downloaded ideas. I had everything I needed to move forward. A pure vision and a simple plan, but I couldn't move forward. Ultimately, I faced the same brick wall every time.
I went to healing retreats. I cleared, danced, screamed, shared, connected, analyzed through the fears about taking my vision to the next level. Fears of judgment, alienation, owing my voice. Fears of playing big, of success & loss, money insecurities etc.
All these blocks played a role in my paralysis to move forward.
To a point.
The self doubt would play out like this: an idea would come surging in. I would ride an incredible wave of inspiration and then self doubt would appear right before "action time" and crash the party. Terrible paralyzing self-doubt. Every time.
Recently, as I was masterminding on my first online product (to be birthed this spring!) I fell into the familiar depth of despair.
I feared my product wasn't original enough (and in my mind that meant "not good enough") and the "great wall of self doubt" rose up again.
My talented & very intuitive mentor didn't answer my questions, tell me my idea was good enough or help me brainstorm a different angle.
Instead she simply said, "Monica, you have a right to be YOU in this world."
I was initially mad at her response. (reaction: the first clue to look deeper!)
"Why won't she help me move forward?"
I didn't see that there was nothing more we needed to discuss. I didn't see the pink elephant in the room.
"I already KNOW I have a right to be "ME", this isn't my first kick at the can," I fumed inside.
But then it all came flooding in. All the decisions in my life where I had silenced my expression and dishonoured my genuine voice because I did not believe at a core level that I had the right to be ME.
I saw the pure deep truth.
Then the tears came. I grieved for the present truth that had slipped my awareness for so long.
Was it this simple? Really?
Yes, for me it was THE core belief that fell "the great wall of self doubt" and moved me forward to create a successful meditation audio, a thriving Facebook page, monday insights to my ever growing tribe and an upcoming online experience for creative spiritual women moving thru big shifts.
Now I see the clues in other women.
I see through the surface worries;
She may be obsessing about her branding, endlessly tinkering with her message, website design and never truly feeling like she has connected to her message.
She may have oodles of ideas stored away for the day she feels ready to take action,
She may be worried about 'copying' another's work, obsessed about being more unique or she may constantly feel like "it's already been done," feeling a sting of jealousy for women already thriving in her niche.
In truth, she has not allowed herself the right to be unapologetically . . . HERSELF.
I knew I had crossed over something big when I researched amazing women who are sharing a message similar to mine. Instead of feeling despair or jealousy as i had in the past, I praised their success. I felt true joy that I am "one of them" and together we are expanding the message of the thriving and embodied feminine.
My message for you:
There is no one who will bring beauty, love, joy, peace, insight & healing into the world in the way YOU can.
The world is ready for your voice, when you are ready to love & share the woman you have become with the world.
Take a moment to come into a pure deep truth with yourself.
Is it really self doubt that you struggle with?
You have a right to be YOU in this world.
When you know this, paralyzing self doubt loses its grip.
Let this be your daily meditation until you feel your energy swirl back into you, with renewed inspiration and focus.
You have a right to be YOU.