Thrive Thursday: Cynthia Kane on creating from the inside out + the art of bending time
Welcome to Thrive Thursday. Each week I feature a conscious & creative woman who has made self care a non-negotiable part of her life, love and business. Self-care is not a perfect practice but it is necessary for a thriving life. This series spotlights women who are dedicated to #fullnessfirst because they know exhaustion & depletion are not the way forward.
I believe there is Genius in every living room across the nation. I believe there are scores of women looking for “another way” to bring their dreams to life. Women who want to live, breathe & create at a natural, elegant pace. A harmonious balance between life and work allows us to live fully, while also freeing up the time and energy so we can come together and co-create a thriving new world for all Beings.
This series illuminates the power of exquisite self care as holistic fuel for elegant & effective productivity. As we return to lifestyle practices that support the unstoppable power behind a well nourished woman, we simultaneously create a more loving & harmonious world
Meet Cynthia Kane
Imagine walking through life with a goal in mind, one you dreamed up when you were younger, one that you ascribed yourself to, and pretty soon that’s how people started to identify you. And the more people identified you as this one thing, the more you realized how superficial the title was, because the substance of it was all wrong.
See for me, I wanted to be a writer. From when I was younger that’s what I wanted. Never mind the problems I faced with a learning disability, or the multiple times I was rejected in the field, I wanted to be a writer.
The problem, though, was that I didn’t know what I wanted to write about. And the truth was that I didn’t believe I had anything to say.
So what did I do? I wrote about anything and everything, never was particular about any of it, until my first love and best friend tragically passed away.
Boom. Shift in narrative.
Suddenly, empty and blank, I had to learn how to fill myself in again. Starting from the beginning, I finally allowed myself time to get to know myself. Ask myself questions. Learn who I was and what I wanted. I didn’t know before that I had a choice in how I wanted to live in the world. I didn’t know my life could be awesome, because I didn’t know that I was awesome or had anything to contribute.
So what I strive to do with my work is help men and women find their voice, not only in the world of writing, but also in life. I really try to answer the how questions like how do I figure out what I love to do? How do I create boundaries? How do I start to like and listen to myself more? How am I supposed to know what I want to say? Because those are the question I always asked myself. And at the end of my one-on-one work and also my workshops, because I want people to outgrow me, people leave with the tools they need to access who they are anytime and anywhere.
Are you a Budding or Established entrepreneur?
Are you a Mother? If so, what ages are your children?
No, not yet a mother.
Do you consider yourself to be a spiritually conscious/awakening woman?
I am most definitely a conscious and mindful woman; however, that wasn’t always the case. I used to walk through the world without really feeling like I was in the world. Most of life was stuck in drive before something ran into the middle of my road and I had to slam on the breaks.
As an entrepreneur, when did you realize self-care must be written into your business plan and why?
After the death of my first love and best friend what I was craving was care. Care was always something I’d looked for outside myself, but was rarely ever satisfied with the outcome. And as much as I wanted others to nurture me during this time, what I realized was that I was the only one who could.
As I began to learn more about how to take care of myself, I noticed how making myself a priority improved my mood, productivity, and interpersonal relationships. Because all I wanted to do was feel good, caring for myself became a ritual / daily practice.
A woman who creates from fullness honors rhythm & ritual in her life. Can you share how you manage your business with the changing tides of your inner being – with who you are as a woman?
I try to incorporate who I am into what I do. Most all of my work is driven by my own personal experience, which means that whatever comes up for me during the day I use.
For example, the other day I was having a really difficult time communicating what I felt, so I brought that experience and what I learned from it into my work.
What are your non-negotiable self-care practices that put your well-being first in life & business?
My whole life is designed around self-care practices. This is what it looks like.
- Wake without an alarm
- Wash my face
- Brush my teeth
- Make my bed
- Yoga / or a walk outside
- Morning pages (free writing in my journal)
- Starts at 11 a.m. EST
- List out top four to-dos (not everything is urgent)
- At 2 p.m. EST go for a walk
- Use self control App to keep my focus
- When I’m done for the day, I log off
- Make a nice dinner
- No technology Wednesdays
- Wear a nightgown to sleep
- 8 hours of sleep
Let’s go deeper – we live in transitional times where many women are building a business & parenting while also in a spiritual awakening journey. There are times when self-care is not enough to alleviate the transitional symptoms of a woman’s soul unfolding so that it’s business “as usual.” What have you learned about yourself and building a business during transitional times, as a conscious heart centered entrepreneur?
First off, taking care of ourselves isn’t something that we can miraculously do. Why? Well think of it like this, if someone dropped off a dog at your doorstep would you take care if it? Maybe at first you’d be hesitant, but then it snuggles into your leg and you think, ah, he’s cute. Done, he’s now the newest member of your family, so you pour a bowl of water. The point is, you have to like something to take care of it; you have to see the goodness within it to take care of it, without that, there’s no reason to care, because there’s nothing to care for.
What I’ve learned is that once you like yourself enough to take care of who you are, it doesn’t take much time to make yourself feel good. For some people sitting on the toilet and closing their eyes and breathing five breaths is enough, for others, driving in the car singing along to the music blasting is just what’s needed. Everyone has different ways of caring for who they are, but the bottom line is that no one else is going to do it for you.
No one else is going to be able to make you feel less stress, anxiety, or overwhelm; only you can. And the great news is that the more you commit to honoring your wants and needs, relying on yourself for support, the more you’ll see your company start to thrive under this kind of leadership.
Riding the waves of a dynamic and creative life, our point of balance is constantly adjusting. What aspects of your nature tend to challenge you the most around maintaining balance in life & business, if you are not mindful?
For me, I get caught up a lot with the feeling of there not being enough time (I actually have an affirmation I use when this feeling comes up – There’s always more than enough time to complete all that I need to with ease and grace). Not only for all the things I want to accomplish, but also for all that I want to experience in my personal life. This is an old habit of mine that I easily fall back into. Another old pattern I fall into is comparing myself to others and not thinking I’m good enough. All of these mind games can prevent me from wanting to take care of myself.
But, see, this is why self-care is a daily practice, or better yet, taking responsibility for how you live in the world is a daily practice. Because each day we are going to face these triggers that make us push ourselves aside, but it’s these triggers that need to be our red flashing alert buttons that make us stop, take a breath, and be reminded that everything in life is a choice.
What has been the biggest benefit in your life & business as a result of making self-care the non-negotiable foundation?
The biggest benefit, believe it or not, is that I actually have more time. I have more time, because now I am present in what I do. I can be fully with my clients, workshop participants, family, and friends, because my mind isn’t thinking about what’s next it’s only thinking about what’s now.
I am well rested and motivated, which means productivity increases and my mind is so at ease that creativity keeps on keepin on.
Because I’m taking care of my wants and needs, I no longer feel pulled in so many different directions. I know I am being taken care of, and I know that if I fall off my seat, I can always get right back on.