Thrive Thursday: Vidette Vanderweide on the creating life/work balance after Corporate America
Welcome to Thrive Thursday. Each week I will be featuring a conscious & creative woman who has made self care a non-negotiable part of her life, love and business. Self-care is not a perfect practice but it is necessary for a thriving life. This series spotlights women who are dedicated to #fullnessfirst because they know exhaustion & depletion are not the way forward.
I believe there is Genius in every living room across the nation. I believe there are scores of women looking for "another way" to bring their dreams to life. Women who want to live, breathe & create at a natural, elegant pace. A harmonious balance between life and work allows us to live fully, while also freeing up the time and energy so we can come together and co-create a thriving new world for all Beings.
This series illuminates the power of exquisite self care as holistic fuel for elegant & effective productivity. As we return to lifestyle practices that support the unstoppable power behind a well nourished woman, we simultaneously create a more loving & harmonious world.
Meet Vidette Vanderweide
Author, online TV Host and Intuitive Counselor in the area of lifestyle innovation. She is the author of the book, S.O.U.L. Mama and host of The Reinvention Channel; a channel devoted to empowering women to live their best life. Benefits of Vidette’s work is for more women to find a little “zen” in their chaotic, modern life.
Ranked in the Top 50 "Mom Run Businesses in the U.S." Vidette’s passion for teaching women how to live their greatest life is evident in her retreats, online television channel and her upcoming, “Modern Zen Adventures.” Viewers and attendees will experience, humor, transformational work, the illumination of how life is supposed to be lived, mixed in with a little luxury, at all her events.
Are you a Budding or Established entrepreneur?
Ha! This one is a toughy. I would hardly say that I am an “established” entrepreneur, but yet, I do believe I’m past the “budding” stage.
The entrepreneurial journey has seemed like it has been a million years at times! I remember a mentor, once, saying, “Being an entrepreneur is the best self development class you can take cause it brings up ALL your stuff!”
She was so right. My business is completely different from where I launched from, I am a whole new person, and in that process, all my fears, insecurities, lack of knowledge, lack of confidence, etc. has all shown up!
So, I guess to answer the question, I’m an “on-the-journey” entrepreneur!
Are you a Mother? If so, what ages are your children?
Yes! I am the mom of two boys, Rijken (8), and Dutch (6).
Do you consider yourself to be a spiritually conscious/awakening woman?
Absolutely and proudly! I have to say, that my “Blissness” (business) has helped in the process of awakening. I have learned things about myself that I didn’t know existed as a result of putting myself out there.
Also, as my own consciousness has grown, so has my clarity of intuition, which then, expands my creativity!
The biggest gift I can give myself is to continue taking my weekly spiritual classes, gifting myself retreats, and other spiritual opportunities because when I expand more and more, spiritually, I expand in all areas of my life!
I expand personally and in business…my business becomes more and more of who I am, and most importantly to me, I model for my boys the importance of learning, growing and experiencing growth so they can keep getting better and better in their own lives.
As an entrepreneur, when did you realize self-care must be written into your business plan and why?
After about a year or two of launching my business, I realized that I was modeling what I had learned in Corporate America; that we have to work 8 - 9 hour days to build a business.
I was just as burnt out as I was working in Corporate America, and I found myself resenting my business.
With that awareness, I knew something had to change. I had already established an early morning spiritual practices ritual, where meditation, prayer and journaling were already occurring in my life, but I started to set new parameters for my work day.
Now, I work three to five hours a day. I stop when my kids are finished school. I used to sneak off and continue to work when they were home, but I realized I wasn’t being present to them. So, when they are done school, we go have fun.
Also, when I feel myself falling into judgment of myself, comparison of myself to others, or feeling frustrated, I know to walk away. I no longer allow my business to have control over me. If it doesn’t get done in a day, well then, it just doesn’t freaking get done! :)
My self-care plan, is really being aware of, “Am I enjoying this right now?” “Is this bringing me joy to do?” or “How am I feeling right now?” When anything that doesn’t serve me comes up, I stop!!
I have a MUCH better relationship with my business now, and that is why, more often, I refer to it as my “blissness.” I have committed myself to being in bliss when I’m working in it.
Besides, if we work with the energy of frustration, resentment, or anger, that energy will meld into whatever it is we are working on, and I don’t want that hanging on anything I put out to the world.
A woman who creates from fullness honors rhythm & ritual in her life. Can you share how you manage your business with the changing tides of your inner being – with who you are as a woman?
This is such a great question, and one that I can answer SO succinctly because of my experience.
When I first started my business, I was very attached to figuring out exactly what I would be doing in this business for the rest of my life! I was very attached to how I wanted the brand to look, and how I wanted to to translate to potential clients.
I think I had claw marks on my first website because I was so afraid to let it go when I started to see that the business was evolving as I evolved.
Now, my business is NOTHING what it was when I started it. As I have stepped into who I am and evolved as a person, my business has, too.
I have released any attachment to what I think it will be and where I think I am going. I simply follow my divine intuition and go where I am led.
I still think from a left-brain, strategy stand-point when I am led in a new direction. How will the brand evolve? What language will my marketing take on?
There is certainly a balance in business that has to be honored; there is the right-brain ebb and flow…creative growth that must be honored, and when that happens, there is also a strategy to be implemented to support the growth of the brand.
I have stopped being concerned about what people will think if my brand changes, or my message changes, and simply allow myself to be guided intuitively.
And, by doing so, my business has grown and my own self-love has grown because I am true to who I am.
What are your non-negotiable self-care practices that put your well-being first in life & business?
My biggest non-negotiable self-care practice is my morning spiritual practices. I get up an hour and a half before my family and everyone knows that’s MY time.
Even if my kids get up earlier than usual, they know to respect that time because I have made it very clear how important that time is to me. This is the time when I meditate, journal, pray and get grounded for the day.
The other non-negotiable comes when I simply need some “alone” time. Again, I set this practice down some time ago, so my family “just knows” now when I need some alone time, they honor that.
Sometimes it’s a walk on the beach, sometimes it’s when I get my manicure/pedicure, and sometimes it’s a trip to the spa. Whatever it is, my family knows to honor my alone time, and now, each of my kids announces their own “alone time” when it’s needed.
We all honor each other’s need for space and time to go within.
Let’s go deeper – we live in transitional times where many women are building a business & parenting while also in a spiritual awakening journey. There are times when self-care is not enough to alleviate the transitional symptoms of a woman’s soul unfolding so that it’s business “as usual.” What have you learned about yourself and building a business during transitional times, as a conscious heart centered entrepreneur?
I have learned that it’s o.k. to go quiet for a bit in the business. In marketing, we are taught to “be out there” and to be present at all times. To constantly be building the brand, but what I have found in times of massive inner, spiritual growth, is that creativity comes full-on and we must make space for what comes.
At these times, I have to sit back and forget the “marketing strategy” and pay attention to what is looking to express through me. Our own spiritual evolution is about “strategy,” but about listening to our intuition within.
When I have stopped “doing” in my business and simply allowed some time to “listen,” (and sometimes that has been six months at a time), my business has evolved much more authentic to who I am. When I have stuck with “strategy,” I have found that the business becomes more of a “chore” and/or a “job.”
Riding the waves of a dynamic and creative life, our point of balance is constantly adjusting. What aspects of your nature tend to challenge you the most around maintaining balance in life & business, if you are not mindful?
Over-giving and giving of my time is DEFINITELY my challenge. I like to give of my talents to those people and places that I care about. I have gotten over-committed, and continue to work on that challenge, because I want to help friends or organizations that I am passionate about in their own growth.
I tend to say “yes,” which as we know, means saying “no” to something else and that something else tends to be my own self-care needs and/or my business.
I become aware that I’ve said “yes” too much when I start to feel stress or resentment start to creep up. Then, I know it’s time to shed some of the responsibilities that I have taken on….and I’m good about doing that!
How has your life & business changes as a result of placing self-care a non-negotiable foundation?
Putting ME first, and being o.k. with that, has been the biggest lesson in my own evolution. I have to come before my husband, my kids, or my business. When I put them in front of ME, then I find that I become irritable, stressed and resentful….all energies that do not serve me and I am well-aware of them when they creep up.
My business direction has thrived because of listening to what I want within, and tuning out the marketing “gurus” preaching what is right and wrong. I listen within rather than listen to parenting experts blab on about the “newest research.” I listen within rather than listen to marriage “experts” ramble on about how to communicate with my spouse.
I don’t need anyone to tell me how to get things done in business or my personal life. All of that wisdom is found within me, as long as I stay in tuned with it! It’s when I start listening to external factors that I start to feel stress and the chaos of the modern world.
When I listen and act from within, everything thrives and I grow immensely as a woman. That’s what I want for myself. Not the “abiding by the status quo” way-of-life. I have found that way of life much too stifling and truly NOT what makes me feel alive and vibrant.
Being who I am, listening to what wants to express through me, and putting me first makes me feel alive, vibrant, sexy, and successful…when I feel all of that, all the other roles in my life feel alive, vibrant, sexy and successful!
It’s a whole new paradigm to live within, and I welcome it!
To learn more about Vidette’s transformational work and to get her free video series, “What If You Didn’t Have to Struggle in in Life and/or Business,” visit www.Videttev.com